A lot of times when a relationship goes through a big reveal — someone had an affair years ago, or they’re addicted to some substance — it can feel like your partner is suddenly a completely different person. How could this person you thought you knew so...
I don’t know if any of you follow fashion magazines, but this month my daughter-in-law pointed out that the July cover star of Glamour was none other than Ashley Graham, a model technically considered ‘plus-size’ and known internationally for her joyful support of...
One thing I’ve noticed lately is that people who are not merchants in their first, second, or even third level, who have a really low CVI number for that quadrant — they have a hard time connecting with their partners. Oftentimes they’re the practical...
Since we’re on a streak this month with Gottman methodology (I just got certified, and I am loving it — can you tell?) let’s talk about rituals of connection. In our busy day and age, a lot of more traditional rituals of connection get lost in the bustle....
Remember that Gottman Relationship house? Well, the very first floor of the relationship house in Gottman is something called “love mapping.” Have you heard of it? Love mapping is an intentional check-in to really make sure you know your partner deeply. It’s kind of...
The Gottmans use a picture of a house to symbolize different aspects of your relationship with your significant other. The very top of that house? Creating shared meaning and making each of your life-long dreams come true! Couples who invest in each other’s dreams...
It’s almost here! If you are looking for a fresh, encouraging connection with your partner — if you want to start your summer dreaming, and building your vision together with hope and support — then join us for our next Enticing Love workshop, coming...
“I can see clearly now, the rain is gone…” Spring is finally here! Anyone else enjoying the glorious sunshine today? With this lovely uptick in weather, I can’t help but be reminded of the importance of clear vision. When we don’t understand...
You’ve probably heard it before: Are you practicing self-care? Are you actively seeking out routines for your everyday life that will lower your stress levels? Daily self-care routines can include journaling, meditation, naps, reading a fun book, soaking your...
This Mother’s Day, if you are overjoyed to be surrounded by your little ones, we celebrate with you. If your relationship is complicated or painful, we ache with you. If it is new and exciting, we congratulate you. If you are grieving a passing too soon, we...
If you know your Core Values, you know that every value has a unique negative side: that unhealthy strategy you slip into when you’re faced with a particularly uncomfortable conflict. Recently, at our Enticing Intimacy workshop, I was reminded how easily and...
If you’ve taken the Core Values Index, you know that we all have a primary value and a secondary value. For example, I am primarily a Merchant, the quadrant which values Love. I am secondarily an Innovator, which values Wisdom. Some people’s top two are...
“Whenever you are in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make a difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is ATTITUDE.” These wise words by William James, the famous American philosopher, are the perfect place to start...
When our first son got engaged, Eric and I started taking dance classes. At the time, our only goal was not to embarrass ourselves at our children’s weddings! But, you might not be surprised to hear, it actually transformed our relationship in some surprising...
This is a question so many couples ask us when they come to our conferences, or enter into counseling, is: “If our Core Values are so different, how can we be compatible?” But the fact of the matter is compatibility has nothing to do with whether your Core Values are...
This Ted talk speaks to a very important issue: how childhood trauma affects children throughout their lifetime. What so many people don’t understand is the damage we do to our own children when we don’t directly deal with our own issues. Whether it’s...
We’ve all heard someone say it — we might have said it ourselves at some point: “We’re perfect together. We never fight!” But when someone says that to me, it’s a big red flag. You never fight? Really? First of all, unless you’ve been dating for less than a...
The part of the brain that gets triggered by cocaine is the same place we get triggered by romantic love. The difference being, of course, that you get to come down from cocaine — but you can’t come down from romantic love too easily. As this Ted Talk explains...
Joy is defined as: 1 a : the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : delight b : the expression or exhibition of such emotion : gaiety 2 : a state of happiness or felicity : bliss 3 : a source...
Expectations. As you hear this word in your mind, what does it conjure for you? For me, it brings up feelings that aren’t really that positive. Honestly, it just reminds me how much I fear disappointment. It’s a slippery slope, isn’t it? On one hand,...
