If you are the one who has been hurt by an affair you probably feel stunned, crushed, enraged …betrayed. If you are the one who cause all that pain, you most likely feel like you are going crazy, are full of shame and confusion and can’t see a way through to the other side. When an affair is first revealed, we don’t know where to turn, who to tell or how to get the help you need. Affairs, whether they are emotional, internet related or physical, are devastating to relationships. We are committed to helping you walk through the healing journey to recovery from this affair and make sense of why it happened in the first place. We have several ways in which we can help with this process.
We agree with the experts, (John Gottman and Sue Johnson); there are three components to affair recovery: Atonement, Attunement and Attachment.
In the first phase, it is important for the partner who has had the affair to come clean, cut all ties and take full responsibility for the actions which hurt their partner. This time is crucial and can be excruciating for everyone involved. But if you have the environment in which to be safe and authentic, with the care needed for containment of emotions and coaching on communication.
The second phase is essential to building trust again. Learning how to understand what the underlying needs of each other are, attuning to one another’s heart of hearts.
Third phase is building trust, intimacy again with one another, building a plan for re-establishing