Why Vulnerability is Essential to Hope in Relationships
Is your relationship stuck in a cycle of negativity, criticism, defensiveness, and hopelessness? Discover how to get unstuck through the power of vulnerability.
The Art and Science of Love: How to Rediscover Friendship (and More!) With Your Partner
The Art and Science of Love: How to Rediscover Friendship (and More!) With Your Partner Feeling distant from your partner, like the spark has fizzled? Or maybe you’ve noticed you’re operating more like business partners than partners in love—raising kids, running...
3 Things TV Gets Wrong About Affairs
We see affairs and their aftermath depicted on television shows and film practically every day. It’s a favorite ‘conflict’ for many shows to mine, and can present some truly inspiring storylines. However, a lot of the times — TV just gets it wrong. 1. “Once a cheater,...
A TED Talk You Need To Hear
Over five years ago, we shared this TED talk with you, along with our thoughts on the subject. While it’s certainly been a while, it seems like this particular subject has never been more relevant. Our world seems to grow more stressful by the day — so...
Your Summer Marriage Survival Guide
No matter what stage of life you’re at, every season can bring its own delights and challenges. Summer is no exception. For Eric and I, expectations of what we want out of summer can be very different. Ever the Innovator, Eric always has a long list of projects he...
How to Increase Empathy with Your Partner
We’ve all been there. You’re having an argument with your partner, and they explain why they’re upset. You listen — you really listen — but they might as well be speaking ancient Latin for all you’re able to understand. Why would...
3 Tips For Busy Couples
It happens to the best of us, and this time of year can be particularly difficult. If you have kids, year-end activities at school start stacking up. You’re planning trips for memorial day. Workloads might increase at the office as you attempt to prep for...
May Day Poetry
Yes, May Day was last week; we realize this. It’s been a bit chaotic in the Walters world this week, however, which delayed this post — but we didn’t want to miss out on this lovely holiday! It’s tradition on May Day to deliver flowers and...
How Not To Ruin Your Relationship
Recently, Drs. John and Julie Gottman were invited to join the podcast “Ten Percent Happier,” where they share the different ways, both large and small, that couples can impact their relationship. And in this podcast episode, I found, the good doctors...
What Do You Need To Hear From Your Partner?
Here’s a question: if you could script something for your partner to say to you, what would that sound like? Is there something you want — even need — to hearfrom them? What would you just love for them to say to you, right here, right now? Even for...
What To Do When Your Attachment Styles Are In Conflict
What do you do when you and your partner have ‘attachment styles’ that are in direct opposition to each other? Here’s what I mean. Consider the avoidant attachment style, versus the anxious attachment style. Now, our goal is always to form a healthy attachment to our...
Learning Emotions
As a therapist/wife/friend/daughter/mother/mother-in-law/grandmother…I have always known I am gifted (or cursed, depending on how I’m feeling about it on any given day) on reading emotions. I also realize that I have often misunderstood what those emotions...
Easter Is About New Beginnings
Easter is still a couple weeks off, but this new burst of spring is already well under way. It reminds me that this is really what Easter is all about: new beginnings! Whether you’re celebrating a faith-based Easter holiday with a focus on resurrection, or just...
Understand vs. Believe
Sometimes, our partners have different needs and wants than us (okay, maybe it’s a LOT of times!). When those needs and wants are so foreign to us that we don’t even understand them, it can be really hard to empathize or support them through it. Sometimes we...
Are You Hungry? How About Sleepy?
Sometimes, as my husband the basketball coach likes to say, we have to remember to go back to the basics. All the fancy footwork and trick passes will get you nowhere on the court if you don’t have a mastery of the fundamental, basic basketball skills. The same, I...
Don’t Forget About Surprises!
As we continue in a long-term relationship, year after year, it can be easy to fall into a very predictable rhythm. And there’s nothing wrong with that! We even have blogs touting the benefits of ritual. It’s healthy and important. But sometimes we forget...
Why We Really Don’t Need ‘Fair’ In A Relationship
A lot of us, Bankers especially (aka a person with a love of knowledge and justice, according to the CVI), want things to be fair. Equality, justice, fairness, these are all important concepts and virtues that we need in our lives and society. But in a relationship?...
Why Was He The ‘Saint of Love’ Anyway?
For many of us, we just think of Valentine’s as a Hallmark, money-grabbing, sugar-filled holiday. And it has been rather commercialized. But that’s not how it started — and there is a really beautiful meaning in this holiday that you might not be...Lessons from Bill Murray’s “Groundhog Day”
This last Wednesday was Groundhog Day. If you’re familiar with the clip above, you know this particular holiday is the one Bill Murray’s character is forced to relive, over and over and over, in the eponymous 90’s film. He’s stuck in a repeating loop. At first,...
