Over the last several weeks, we’ve talked about how to recognize a healthy relationship, how to start building your Strong Relationship House, and three proven strategies for continuing to build it. Here at Core Values Counseling, we understand that the foundation of your House is your friendship with your partner. And you can build and strengthen that foundation (and your friendship!) through what the Gottmans call Love Mapping.
Building Love Maps gives you deep knowledge of your partner’s inner world, the way they take in information, the way they process, and what’s happening in their external world. But in order to effectively build those maps, we believe you also need to understand the DNA of your partner’s soul.
That’s where the Core Values Index™ (CVI™) comes in. We believe there’s a strong correlation between knowing one another’s CVI™ and building Love Maps. Throughout our practice, we’ve adopted the CVI™ as part of our client intake to understand each individual’s innate, unchanging way of being. It speaks to who they are at their core and informs the lens through which they view life.
You might think the CVI™ is just another personality test, but it’s so much more. According to Taylor Protocols, “The difference between the Core Values Index™ (CVI™) and personality tests is the CVI™ measures innate preference (suitability) rather than ability or adaptability.” Additionally, “The CVI™ is the only assessment to showcase the four innate human energies that dictate specific future performance. These drivers dictate the behaviors and desired work that develop self-esteem, causing people to subconsciously seek work where they can make their highest contribution.”
Lynn E. Taylor of Taylor Protocols initially developed the CVI™ to ensure the right people were being hired for the right jobs. The goal was that those people would be happy in their job for a lifetime. Ideally, an employee who is well-matched to their job finds that it brings happiness and joy to their soul because it’s a natural fit and they love it so much.
Now, if you had that kind of information about your partner — and yourself! — how much would that enliven your relationship? You’d be able to understand the very core of your relationship. You’d know what energizes you and propels you through the world, what makes your partner’s heart sing (and how to embrace that in your partner), how to deal with conflict, and more.
When you know that kind of information, it helps so much in building and strengthening your relationship. The insights really can be life-giving. You’re no longer trying to make your partner fit into your mold. You’re allowing them to be themselves, and they’re celebrating you for who you are!
Take the opportunity to learn this about your partner. Increase your understanding of one another. It makes conflict easier, and it makes decision-making clearer. Learning your partner’s CVI™, together with building Love Maps, will set you up for the strongest foundation possible in your relationship.
Remember, when working on any relationship, you have to work on yourself, too. The CVI™ is a fantastic tool and a great place to start. If you haven’t yet taken the CVI™, now is the perfect time to do so. You can access the Free Core Values Index™ here, but to get the most out of it, we recommend you invest in the full report here.
Photo by Justin Groep on Unsplash
Taylor Protocols, Inc. and Lynn E. Taylor own the Copyrights and Trademarks for the Core Values Index™ (CVI™)
