Affair Recovery:

Navigating the Path to Healing

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The pain of an affair is profound and multifaceted. The betrayal, anger, shock, and disbelief can feel overwhelming, as if you’ve been hit by a truck. For those who have experienced infidelity, it can be hard to believe this has happened to you and your relationship. For the partner who had the affair, the accompanying shame and guilt can feel unbearable. Managing these feelings while navigating your partner’s hurt and loss is incredibly confusing.

Understanding the Impact

Affairs are isolating. Unlike physical injuries, there are no outward signs of an affair, and support often feels lacking. Research from 2018 indicates that about 30% of men and 20% of women admitted to cheating on their spouses, with many meeting their affair partners online. Despite this, 60% of those who had affairs remain married, and many marriages not only survive but thrive through renewed commitment and strengthened boundaries.

The trauma from an affair can resemble Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Triggers and hyper-vigilance become part of daily life, leading to sudden anger, depression, and a sense of being overwhelmed. Both partners may struggle with a sense of loss, especially if the affair involved emotional or physical connections that were deeply meaningful.

The Recovery Process

Recovering from an affair is challenging but possible with the right support and tools. We use the Core Values Index and the Gottman Relationship Assessment to understand individual strengths and relationship dynamics, helping us formulate a path forward. Our approach is designed to guide you through healing, rebuilding trust, and learning to love again.

Our Support Services

We offer a range of specialized services to support your recovery:

Weekend Intensives: Work with our team over a weekend using the Gottman method of couples therapy to address the trauma of affairs.
Neurofeedback Therapy: Clinically proven to reset the brain after trauma.

Affair Recovery Components

According to experts like John Gottman and Sue Johnson, effective recovery involves three key phases:

Atonement: The partner who had the affair must take full responsibility, cut ties with the affair partner, and be transparent about their actions.
Attunement: This phase focuses on rebuilding trust by understanding each other’s underlying needs and fostering emotional connection.
Attachment: Rebuilding intimacy and trust, and developing a plan for moving forward together.

Relationship Recovery Protocol

Our hope is to give you the best help possible. We at Core Values Couples believe your relationship is worth a great deal. Especially if you are healing from an affair, your relationship is worth time, effort and financial support. Healing takes work and commitment. Many couples don’t understand this until it is too late. We have a protocol we believe will transform your relationship. Each step is vital, and it will take a considerable amount of time to complete. We hope you will take a journey of healing to rebuild your relationship and expect the best future possible.

Protocol for Couples wishing to work with Core Values Counseling:

1.

After being assigned a therapist, fill out all the intake including taking the Core Values Index (CVI) assessment sent to you.

2.

First Appointment: Intake with the therapist for a 80-minute session.

3.

Couples take Gottman Assessment (by email invitation from your therapist).

4.

Both individuals have separate 50-minute counseling appointments with their therapist to gather background history after you have completed the Gottman Online Relationship assessment. There could be a few extra individual sessions at the counselor’s recommendation.

5.

The couple has a 4th intake appointment where they will go over the Gottman Relationship checkup and map out a plan for future work.

6.

The couple will be invited to do an unpacking of the Core Values Index and create awareness of how each other is wired. This can be done a) with the therapist in session or b) an online unpacking or c) schedule a live zoom or in-person session with Life Coach Eric Walters.

7.

Counseling appointments are held to rebuild attachment and teach attunement to each other through tools within the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling. Couples are encouraged to attend the Art and Science of Love conference.

Getting Started

Whether you are considering a weekend intensive or weekly sessions, taking the first step is crucial. Affair recovery can be both emotionally and financially taxing, but the investment in your relationship can be transformative.

Our team of experienced therapists is here to support you through this difficult time. Learn more about our therapists and contact us to schedule a free half-hour assessment. We will get back to you within 24 hours. Your journey to recovery begins with courage and commitment, and we are here to guide you every step of the way.

Contact Us

If you’re struggling with the aftermath of an affair, don’t face it alone. Reach out to us for compassionate, expert support. Call us today at 503-869-8108 or fill out our contact form to begin your path to healing.