You’ve probably heard the saying, ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’ And research confirms that the more positive adult figures a child has as they grow, the better chance they have at maturing into a healthy, successful adult.
Well, the same is true for your marriage.
No marriage is an island; there’s a reason weddings are community events. Unfortunately, sometimes couples start cutting the community out of the process as soon as they get back from the honeymoon. To succeed in your marriage, you need friends of your marriage. You need wise, healthy people who care about BOTH of you and the success of your relationships. And you need to be choosey about these people. This means you can’t just go to anyone and start complaining about your spouse 24/7. If you have an issue in your relationship, you need friends who know and love BOTH of you to help you process. Who can provide wise counsel, healthy support, and honest feedback. You need good people to spend time with even when things are good, to come into alignment with and grow together.
There are no sides in marriage. Remember, you’re on the same team. So if a friend starts choosing a side against your spouse, they’ve really chosen a side against your marriage. Of course, there are instances where this is appropriate — in an abusive relationship, a good friend will not support that. But all too often this stance is taken simply because it’s the easier one — it’s easier for your friends to complain with you than it is for them to support your marriage and give you unbiased feedback. But those friends aren’t helping your relationship.
It takes a village to raise a marriage. What village have you built around your relationship?