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When The Holidays Aren’t So Jolly

The holidays are supposed to be romantic — full of joy and togetherness and hope. But what do you do when this season is laced with heartbreak? How do you face the holidays when you’ve just had a relational split? A divorce, a breakup, or worst of all, a death in the family… how are we supposed to enjoy the joy when that disappointment haunts us? 

The reality is, no matter when you faced this loss — whether it was last week or last year — the holidays always have a way of twisting the knife. We remember the times we shared with our person, and we’re painfully reminded that they’re not here to celebrate again. I’m sorry to say there’s no simple solution to this pain; there’s no easy answer. Going through grief for any loss is a hard and painful journey, but remember this: you don’t have to walk it alone. 

Who can you reach out to today to ask for support? That might look as simple as making sure you’re not attending events alone. It might mean someone coming over to start a new tradition, or continue an old one. It’s okay to be feeling the grief you’re feeling; even if it doesn’t feel like it now, time really will pass and bring healing. But that time will pass much less wearily if you’re not alone.

Asking for this support can feel painfully vulnerable. Know you can always reach out to us, or start with an online resource like grief.com. Having someone to talk to can make all the difference. This season can be hard, but there is also hope for joy. You really can find some delight this season — just make sure to ask for help if finding it seems out of your reach on your own.