Money and Stress can go hand in hand. What we do with our finances speaks to what we value in life, what we have been taught about handling money and how we communicate/work with our spouse on financial issues. Many times we just have unshared expectations about how money should be used; or maybe we don’t have detailed realistic plans for reaching financial goals. Each of these can contribute in part–or in whole–to detrimental damage to your relationship.
A fascinating article on this topic was published in Forbes, written by Nancy Anderson, entitled: Financial Mistakes that Ruin your Marriage. These five significant mistakes were: 1) Materialism, 2) Conflicting money values, 3) Adopting traditional roles when they don’t fit, 4) Having opposing money styles, and 5) Magical thinking – getting results without a plan (Budget).
Do any of those sound familiar?
Learning how to work with money together is an essential part of any relationship. But there’s one mistake I think Nancy Anderson may have missed — fear. Fear of being seen as: Powerless, Unloving, Unwise, or Stupid. We just don’t have the energy to deal with the stress of another area in our lives that would bring conflict, so what do we do? We avoid it until we can’t avoid it any longer. But if you can take a risk and overcome your fear by tackling the problem of personal finance, you can move into a better and deeper relationship.
At Core Values Counseling we take the time to help couples and individuals understand their role and responsibility with money. We lead people through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University (FPU) class, one of which is coming up! Click here for more info.