Practicing Gratitude


As we get ready for one of my favorite holiday, I’m reminded of the value of gratitude in your relationships. 

According to Gottman research, the most successful way to turn around contempt in your relationship is with intentional appreciation. But if you’re having a stressful time with your partner, it can be hard to even know where to start. Here’s the secret: It starts with you. It starts with an inner practice of gratitude; it starts with building a sense of appreciation in your own heart for what your partner does. This doesn’t mean ignoring the things that frustrate you; acknowledge them fully. You’re allowed to be upset. But also, every time you’re frustrated, try to think of something you appreciate as well. A friend of mine has a husband who is incredibly friendly. When they were in college, she remembers how they would go to the cafeteria together and he would do something that would just drive her crazy: “I would get my food, find a table, and sit and eat. He, on the other hand, would have about a dozen conversations, hugs, and greetings before he ever made it to the food line, let alone our table. I’d be finished with my meal by the time he sat down! It frustrated me so much to sit alone like that, but the thing is: that’s part of the reason I love him. He is so loving and friendly, and he has so many close friends because he’s so generous; that’s one of my favorite things about him. So, in the end, I asked him to honor my time — but I also learned to accept this flaw, because I knew it was connected to one of his best qualities.”

You’re allowed to be frustrated. She asked him to work on that, to honor her time — but she also found something to appreciate, and they are still happily married. A culture of appreciation starts with your own inner practice.

1 thought on “Practicing Gratitude

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Heath and well being during the COVID-19 Pandemic


PLEASE CALL 503-896-8108

During this time of uncertainty and the world feeling upside down, we want you to know we are here for you.

Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and relational triggers are at an all-time high!

Anxiety is out of control. When we hear so much bad news and we have no idea when this pandemic will begin to reverse, it can rattle even the calmest among us, but for people who already struggle with anxiety, it can be crippling. Whether you are new to the emotion or it is an old bedfellow, talking to someone and finding ways to cope and move forward can be incredibly helpful.

Depression is also something that is normal when we stop all normal activities, find ourselves homeschooling our kids, working from home, in isolation, or are grieving the loss of a job, loss of your health, or worse yet, loss of a loved one. Maybe you feel like you shouldn’t be depressed because you haven’t had a “major” loss, but instead, you are feeling low and out of sorts because you couldn’t go on your vacation, throw your child a birthday party, or attend Easter services. We’re here to tell you, if you are a human on planet earth, at this moment in time, you have a reason to be depressed.

If you suffer from PTSD in any form, you are probably being triggered a great deal right now. Many people are feeling triggers that are elusive. You may not even understand why you feel these triggers that cause any number of symptoms from anxiety, to panic attacks to physical issues. This is understandable. Everywhere you turn you hear of life-threatening illness, death, and loss of every kind.

Relationship distress is also a big issue right now. How could it not be? We are all working from home, navigating uncharted territory on every front and there is no end in sight.

You know you need help. You want to talk to someone, but how do you get these services when you are practicing social distancing? Online therapy, that is how we can help. Whether you need individual therapy, couples or help with your whole family, we are here for you.

We understand online therapy is different than seeing your therapist in person! However, there is some research that has found we are able to connect at a very deep level through online therapy. Not every problem is best served through online therapy. We will talk with you and assess if it is a viable option for you.

Please call us today. Whether you have insurance or not, we will do everything we can to get you the help you need.

We have several platforms to do online therapy.  Please reach out to us today.

We are here to ease your stress and give you tools to manage during this unprecedented time.