Have you ever been frustrated that your partner just doesn’t understand your needs? Or are you perhaps on the flip side of that — does your partner often complain that you just don’t understand them? This is a common dichotomy easily explained by your Core Values. Those of us who are highly motived by love and relationship (Merchants), compassion and solving problems (Innovators) are naturally much more attuned to the needs and desires of others. On the flip side, when you are wired to be a get-er-done type of person (Builders!) or more analytical and less emotionally driven (Bankers) it is much harder to predict the emotional needs of your lover.
But whether or not it comes naturally to you, we can all learn and improve. The first step is to simply ask! What does your partner need to feel cared for, nurtured, loved or respected? I know…it seems so simple, right? Well, if you struggle with this, you just need to practice attuning. And guess what?
There’s an app for that!
The Gottman Institute actually has a wide selection of apps specifically designed to deepen your relationship. Now of course, an app is not a magic fix-all, but it’s a fun way to get things moving. One of my favorites is “Love Maps,” an app full of questions to ask your spouse about their likes and dislikes. Often analytical or get-er-done types need practical reminders to learn more and connect more deeply. Try it out and see if you notice a difference!
Core Values Couples Enticing Love Retreat: A 1.5 day seminar designed for you to understand yourself and your spouse better, know how to love each other better and by the end of the seminar walk away with a clear vision for your relationship. Through this couple’s retreat, you will understand how to honor each other’s values, realize what trips you up and gain a pathway to a more intentional and purposeful way of loving each other and those around you. You will also have the opportunity to build a vision for your relationship and/or family.