Last week, we kicked off a three-part series on a form of therapy called EMDR (read more about that here), and you might have some questions.
If EMDR sounds a little mysterious, you’re not alone! Many clients come to me curious — and maybe even a bit nervous — about what actually happens during an EMDR session. The good news? The process is gentle, collaborative, and deeply grounded in creating a sense of safety.
We always start by building a strong foundation. That means getting to know you, learning about your history, and identifying the patterns or symptoms that brought you into therapy. EMDR isn’t something we rush into — it’s more like preparing the soil before planting. We’ll work on grounding and resourcing skills to make sure you feel safe and steady enough to approach the deeper work.
When we’re ready to begin EMDR, I’ll invite you to bring up a memory or feeling that feels connected to a current struggle. For example, maybe you notice that every time your partner raises their voice — even slightly — you shut down. Through our work together, we might uncover a past experience that left a deep imprint, one your body and nervous system still react to.
Using bilateral stimulation, we then guide your brain to reprocess that memory. (This can be done in a number of ways, like by listening to sounds that alternate between your right and left ears; I use electronic thera-tappers which vibrate in your hands from side to side.) The fascinating part is that you don’t need to fully relive or retell the traumatic event. You simply notice what comes up — thoughts, emotions, sensations — and we move through it together. It’s not about pushing or forcing anything. It’s about giving your brain and body the space they need to heal.
Sometimes, we pair EMDR with neurofeedback, which offers another layer of support for the nervous system. While EMDR helps the brain reprocess past trauma, neurofeedback works on regulating the brain in the here and now. It helps calm the fight-or-flight response and create more flexibility in how we respond to stress. For clients dealing with anxiety, PTSD, or complex trauma, this combination of therapies can be especially powerful.
This work is gentle, but it’s also transformative. I’ve seen people move from feeling stuck and overwhelmed to finding clarity, calm, and connection. EMDR helps loosen the grip of trauma so you can respond to life from the present — not the past.
In the final post of this series, I’ll share how EMDR supports relational healing, especially for couples, and why individual trauma work is often a beautiful act of love within a relationship.
Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash
