Don’t fight it

Don't fight it

Have you ever heard your partner say, “I just wish I could figure this out!” Or perhaps, “Why am I so stressed all the time?!” Maybe it’s more like, “I shouldn’t be this irritated.” It’s all different versions of the same thing: I shouldn’t feel this way!

It’s often understandable for someone to say that. I’ve said it. You’ve probably said it before at some point. Our emotions – especially stressful emotions – won’t leave us alone, and we’re just so frustrated with ourselves that we can’t quell that turbulence.

The counterintuitive secret to all this, however, is this: Resist the urge to fight your emotions.

Let me clarify: It is always important that we control our actions, however we may feel. But fighting against our emotions is a fruitless and often damaging exercise.

Think about it. If you’re feeling stressed out, and you’re frustrated with yourself for feeling stressed, does that frustration make you feel any better? Hardly. It only adds to your stress! Now you’re not just stressed about work, you’re stressed because you can’t seem to manage your stress which is STRESSFUL.

Phew! It’s exhausting just writing that sentence.

Instead, don’t fight it. The reality is, you feel stressed. Don’t punish yourself for feeling that way. Accept that’s the way you feel. Observe how your body is responding. Implement any self-care strategies you have to counteract that stressed out response: deep breathing, sleeping longer, hot shower or bath, aromatherapy, talking to a friend, journaling…whatever has worked for you in the past, do that. That’s controlling your actions. That’s where we can focus our energy.

But if we try and just angrily will ourselves to stop feeling a certain way, we are doomed to fail. Emotions just don’t work that way.

So have a little grace with yourself, observe and accept your emotions, and adjust your actions accordingly.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Heath and well being during the COVID-19 Pandemic


PLEASE CALL 503-896-8108

During this time of uncertainty and the world feeling upside down, we want you to know we are here for you.

Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and relational triggers are at an all-time high!

Anxiety is out of control. When we hear so much bad news and we have no idea when this pandemic will begin to reverse, it can rattle even the calmest among us, but for people who already struggle with anxiety, it can be crippling. Whether you are new to the emotion or it is an old bedfellow, talking to someone and finding ways to cope and move forward can be incredibly helpful.

Depression is also something that is normal when we stop all normal activities, find ourselves homeschooling our kids, working from home, in isolation, or are grieving the loss of a job, loss of your health, or worse yet, loss of a loved one. Maybe you feel like you shouldn’t be depressed because you haven’t had a “major” loss, but instead, you are feeling low and out of sorts because you couldn’t go on your vacation, throw your child a birthday party, or attend Easter services. We’re here to tell you, if you are a human on planet earth, at this moment in time, you have a reason to be depressed.

If you suffer from PTSD in any form, you are probably being triggered a great deal right now. Many people are feeling triggers that are elusive. You may not even understand why you feel these triggers that cause any number of symptoms from anxiety, to panic attacks to physical issues. This is understandable. Everywhere you turn you hear of life-threatening illness, death, and loss of every kind.

Relationship distress is also a big issue right now. How could it not be? We are all working from home, navigating uncharted territory on every front and there is no end in sight.

You know you need help. You want to talk to someone, but how do you get these services when you are practicing social distancing? Online therapy, that is how we can help. Whether you need individual therapy, couples or help with your whole family, we are here for you.

We understand online therapy is different than seeing your therapist in person! However, there is some research that has found we are able to connect at a very deep level through online therapy. Not every problem is best served through online therapy. We will talk with you and assess if it is a viable option for you.

Please call us today. Whether you have insurance or not, we will do everything we can to get you the help you need.

We have several platforms to do online therapy.  Please reach out to us today.

We are here to ease your stress and give you tools to manage during this unprecedented time.