When Your Partner Gets A New Job

The holidays and the new year bring lots of chances for reflection — and lots of opportunities for change. One of the biggest changes we experience? A job change. And facing one during this time of year can be tough.

If you or your partner started a new job this year, the new rhythm can seriously throw your whole routine into chaotic stress. Your partner might find themselves more anxious more often — and you might find yourself wondering where they went. They might have lost the time off they were planning for the holidays, or just seem less available for the traditions you’re used to.

When it comes to jobs and income, the important thing to remember is you two are a team. They want this job to be a blessing for both of you — that’s why they took it in the first place, right? But that doesn’t mean your relationship should suffer. If you’re facing this new stress together, there are two important things you can do as the partner: 

1) Have extra patience. A new job, a new team, and new responsibilities can take some getting used to. Try to have extra patience for your partner this month. How can you help them through this transition? Maybe cook a few extra meals or do more than your typical share of laundry. Encourage and remind them that they’re doing a great job; that they’re valued, and that it’s going to be okay. Sometimes they just need to know you’re in their corner.

2) Have a conversation if necessary. If a new job is causing your partner to stay up late every night, miss important family events, or it’s negatively affecting their health, they might need a gentle reminder that this isn’t the best way to approach a new situation. Encourage them to get enough sleep; be honest if they’ve been more irritable or wound up and are taking it out on you. Assure them that you’re there to support them, but that establishing a new normal in a new job means making sure work/life balance remains healthy and strong.

It’s two different sides of the same coin. Your partner needs your support, but like a true teammate — they might need you to call them out, too. No matter what, remember (and remind them) that you are in this together — and know that, with time, you’ll find a new and healthy rhythm once again.

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