Okay, with the word intimacy, what comes into your mind? If you are a guy, you might be thinking of your wife or girlfriend giving you that look–you know the one–that has a bit of a tease telling you that she desires you as much as you want her. Hold on–you’re dreaming again! That only happens when all the stars are in alignment and you don’t have anyone living with you, like kids or parents, and she is rested and at peace with the world. See a problem here?
If you are a woman, you might dream of your lover giving you flowers and a card showing he is thinking of you. He then plans a wonderful night out, taking you to a concert or something special. He is connecting to your heart and now you open up to him! Hold it–are you newly married, with double income and no kids? Most guys take the responsibility of finances for the family seriously and work themselves to death to provide and gain the respect of their wives, kids and others. So the days of the guy having time, money and the emotional bandwidth to plan something special is all but lost until the kids graduate from college and you have paid down your debts!
So what are the two of you going to do to emotionally and physically connect? You need a plan. One of my favorite sayings is “People don’t plan to fail, they just fail to plan.” Think about it. People don’t plan on getting divorced when they get married! But many times, they don’t plan activities to emotionally connect. You need to work to understand each other’s love language, and plan activities around that. Set it on the schedule!
Consider this age-old wisdom. It may be a generalization, but for many it rings deeply true: “For a man to emotionally connect, give him physical touch. For a woman to physically desire her man, pursue her in her emotional love language.”
Come to our conference Nov. 4th & 5th to start connecting with each other more deeply in many different ways.
