Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that can feel wonderful for a select few — and really complicated for everyone else. If you’re in the early, blissful stages of love, it’s magical. If you and your partner have a solid understanding of how to celebrate, it can be meaningful. But for many people, Valentine’s Day is riddled with landmines.
Maybe you’re in a healthy relationship but resent the pressure to celebrate love on a corporate schedule. Maybe you’re single and longing for a relationship, or perhaps you’ve recently gone through a breakup. For those who have lost a beloved partner, this day can be especially painful. It can feel like the world is celebrating what you’re missing.
If Valentine’s Day isn’t an easy day for you, I invite you to shift your focus. Instead of feeling like you’re missing out, consider making this holiday about self-love. Loving yourself is just as important — if not more so — than celebrating a romantic relationship. What would it look like to press into joy on your own terms? How can you nurture yourself in ways that feel deeply satisfying?
Intentionally Celebrate Yourself
It’s so easy to default to the usual distractions — takeout on the couch, bingeing another T.V. show — but what if this year, you planned something truly special for yourself? Something outside the norm, something that feels like an act of love for you.
Here are a few ideas:
- Book a spa day or treat yourself to a night at a beautiful hotel in downtown Portland, Oregon.
- Get outside and move — maybe a ski lesson on Mt. Hood, a rock-climbing class, or a long walk in the fresh air (Portland’s Forest Park is stunning, if you haven’t been).
- Reconnect with an old hobby or start a new one — take a pottery class, try a new recipe, or dive into a book you’ve been meaning to read.
- Indulge in a solo adventure — visit the coast, explore a new neighborhood, or take yourself to a fancy dinner.
The key is to be intentional. Don’t just let Valentine’s Day happen to you — plan for it. Make this weekend about celebrating the wonderful, whole person that you are.
Love Comes in Many Forms
If solo self-care isn’t what you need, consider pressing into the other loving relationships in your life. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be limited to romantic love — why not celebrate friendship and family?
- Plan a Galentine’s Day brunch with friends — waffles, whipped cream, and all (Leslie Knope would be so proud).
- Reconnect with a friend you haven’t seen in a while — take a day trip together or have a nostalgic movie night.
- Host a tea party with friends and family — dress up, make little sandwiches, and go all out with your fancy gathering.
Love exists in so many places beyond romance. If Valentine’s Day feels hard, remind yourself of all the relationships that bring joy and connection to your life. Whether through self-love, deep friendships, or family bonds, you can make this holiday meaningful in a way that truly nourishes you.
If this season is bringing up deeper feelings of loneliness or grief, know that you don’t have to navigate it alone. Core Values Counseling offers couples therapy, marriage counseling, individual therapy, and more. If you’re in the Portland, Oregon area and need support, please reach out to us. Counseling can be a space to process emotions and rediscover joy, and we’d love to be a part of your journey.
Wherever you are this Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to choose love — for yourself, for your life, and for the people who make it beautiful.
Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash
