The part of the brain that gets triggered by cocaine is the same place we get triggered by romantic love. The difference being, of course, that you get to come down from cocaine — but you can’t come down from romantic love too easily.
As this Ted Talk explains (take the fifteen minutes to watch it), Romantic Love is one of the most addictive things on earth. This can be wonderful, as when we find ourselves “addicted” to our beloved for a lifetime. However, if this love is misplaced and we are attracted to someone outside our primary relationship, it can be extremely difficult to overcome. Difficult — but not impossible.
Which means we need to be careful to guard our hearts against “dangerous attractions.” It is possible to be attracted without slipping into that relationship, but those attractions are warning signs. We must be aware of our natural instincts and know that in fact we are able to guide them. So even though we have the ability to go into that instant chemical attraction, we can also learn to not allow our hearts to be swayed. We can add safeguards to our relationships to help continue to build a strong attraction, year after year. Clear agreements on the boundaries with people outside your relationship are essential. Understanding communication with your partner about this issue is imperative!
Have you had ‘the talk’ with your partner? What are your relationship safeguards?