Do you find yourself regularly and intentionally being open to the ideas and opinions of your partner? Does your partner do the same for you? The Gottmans refer to this important relationship dynamic as accepting influence. It’s a skill and a habit that really has the...
A wise person once said, “Hidden resentments poison a relationship. So if something bothers you, say it.” The Gottmans take an even more nuanced view of hidden resentments: under that conflict, there is most likely a hidden dream. Most conflicts in relationships are...
Here’s a question: if you could script something for your partner to say to you, what would that sound like? Is there something you want — even need — to hearfrom them? What would you just love for them to say to you, right here, right now? Even for...
What do you do when you and your partner have ‘attachment styles’ that are in direct opposition to each other? Here’s what I mean. Consider the avoidant attachment style, versus the anxious attachment style. Now, our goal is always to form a healthy attachment to our...
Sometimes, our partners have different needs and wants than us (okay, maybe it’s a LOT of times!). When those needs and wants are so foreign to us that we don’t even understand them, it can be really hard to empathize or support them through it. Sometimes we...
Sometimes, as my husband the basketball coach likes to say, we have to remember to go back to the basics. All the fancy footwork and trick passes will get you nowhere on the court if you don’t have a mastery of the fundamental, basic basketball skills. The same, I...
