Hello, friends! It’s Sabrina again. In our first post in this series, I introduced you to the work of Cameron Madill — and why it’s important to design your relationship rather than drift through it. Cameron’s Funshops make that process joyful and intentional. Today, I want to dive deeper into something Cameron and I talked about at length: the role of play in building not just connection, but the foundation of a healthy relationship.
Cameron’s own journey illustrates this beautifully. He told me: “I had a relationship well over a decade ago that lasted for a couple years, and it just got worse and worse and worse. There were no real big fights or issues. We somehow just went from really happy to really unhappy about a year and a half later.”
That’s when he realized he knew very little about creating a strong partnership because he hadn’t actually studied what makes a relationship thrive. “I hadn’t read a single book, or listened to a podcast, or even looked at a tweet,” he admitted. This realization sparked his commitment to intentionality: he wanted his next long-term relationship to be designed, not left to chance.
And that’s exactly what he did.
Cameron and his family (photo courtesy of Cameron Madill)
Today, Cameron and his wife integrate Funshop principles into their own relationship as a daily practice of play and growth. Funshops aren’t just about having fun; they’re designed with intention. Cameron explains how group settings amplify this effect. Couples witness others navigating challenges, which normalizes their own struggles, while also benefiting from shared energy and joy. From pickleball and dance to cocktail-making and wine-and-art nights, every activity strengthens friendship, admiration, and shared meaning — all key pillars of the Gottman Method.
As a therapist trained in the Gottman Method, I often think about the Sound Relationship House — especially the emphasis on cultivating a friendship with your partner and finding shared meaning. The friendship system is all about love maps, turning toward each other, and cultivating fondness and admiration. The shared meaning system includes rituals, traditions, values, and the intentional ways couples make their life together feel grounded and purposeful.
Funshops naturally support both. Play becomes a way of noticing each other again, deepening friendship, and building a life together with purpose.
Cameron put it beautifully when he reflected on the invisible yet essential parts of a relationship. He referenced a favorite quote from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s The Little Prince: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
He added that friendship, admiration, shared stories, and clarity about shared values — a “shared why” — often go unseen in day-to-day life unless we intentionally make them visible. When couples understand their shared purpose, he explained, “all of a sudden everything looks completely different.”
In short, Cameron encourages us to treat play as a vital ingredient in relationships. When we intentionally create opportunities for fun, we expand our connection, strengthen our friendship, and cultivate shared joy. Play isn’t just a bonus; it’s essential.
If you want to hear me and Cameron talk about how play is an essential element of connection — and how it can foster the fondness and admiration and shared meaning that are so critical for couples long-term — you can watch this segment from our conversation:
And if you’d like even more insights, you can watch my full interview with Cameron Madill, packed with stories, practical tips, and inspiration for your own relationship.
Stay tuned for the next installment of this series: Why Your Relationship Needs to Come First.
Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash
