We’ve talked about stress a lot lately — like, a lot. But what if understanding why stress feels so hard could actually help you manage it better?
Stress isn’t just a feeling — it’s a biological response. When you’re overwhelmed by work deadlines, family responsibilities, or the state of the world, your body releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. These chemicals prepare your body to respond to danger by increasing your heart rate, tensing muscles, and sharpening focus.
That’s helpful in a real-life emergency — but not so helpful when the threat is abstract and constant.
Your nervous system reacts before your thinking brain fully processes the situation (in what we often call the fight-or-flight response). It doesn’t differentiate between an approaching car and an email that triggers panic. That’s why stress can feel overwhelming even when the threat is minor.
Here’s the good news: your biology also gives you tools for relief.
Human connection is one of the most powerful.
When we’re calm with someone — breathing steadily, grounded, relaxed — our nervous system mirrors theirs. Neuroscience calls this emotional synchrony, and it happens via mirror neurons. Put simply: your body watches theirs, and it begins to align.
This is where oxytocin comes in. Often called the bonding hormone, oxytocin helps slow heart rate, reduce fear responses, and signal safety to the nervous system. It works alongside other connection chemicals like:
- Vasopressin, which supports attachment and protective bonding
- Endorphins, the body’s natural pain relievers and mood boosters
- Dopamine, which reinforces rewarding, regulating behaviors
Together, these systems help counterbalance the adrenaline-driven stress response.
This mechanism is part of social buffering — the powerful reality that supportive relationships literally reduce the intensity of your body’s stress response.
The hit TV series High Potential recently featured a terrific example of this exact phenomenon. In Season 2, Episode 12, Morgan experiences a panic attack, and her partner Karadec doesn’t debate or explain — he simply holds her until her body relaxes. You can read the breakdown here. Or watch the moment for yourself. Side note: her use of the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique is spot-on. Next time you’re flooded and spinning with anxiety, try it.
What this means for you: Understanding your biology doesn’t eliminate stress — but it shows you the path to relief.
Over the next few posts, we’ll explore how co-regulation, intentional connection, and even physically writing out your thoughts can help your nervous system shift from reactive stress to regulated presence.
Photo by Marco Bianchetti on Unsplash
