August 9, 2017

Relationship Assessment Results

Thank you for taking the relationship assessment. A copy will be emailed to you of the questions and the results. You can also view the results below.

1) Emotional Connection

4.5 You are doing Great!

4.0 with no 2’s Doing well, if you have a 2 explore this topic.

3.5 Could use some work in any areas that score 3 or below.

3.0 Work is needed to find direction in this area as a couple.

2.5 There is definitely conflict in the area and outside help is probably beneficial.

2.0 This is an area you need to get professional help with.

Emotional Connection - Resources

Dr. Sue Johnson is the world expert on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Her books: Hold Me Tight and Love Sense would be excellent reads for anyone wanting to improve the Emotional Intimacy in their relationship. Looking for a Marriage and Family Therapist who is certified in EFT would be great, or a Gottman Certified Therapist would also be helpful.

Website for EFT: http://www.iceeft.com

Website for Gottman Certified Therapy: https://www.gottman.com

Emotional Intelligence: Emotional Intelligence – Why It Matters More Than IQ, by Daniel Goleman

In order to understand yourself and your partner better, we recommend taking the Core Values Index. We offer a video to unpack your results as well as cover this as part of our relationship retreats. This is a great way to deepen all the pillars of your relational intimacy, but especially how you are wired at your innate, unchanging core.

 

2) Relational Connection

4.5 You are doing Great!

4.0 with no 2’s Doing well, if you have a 2 explore this topic.

3.5 Could use some work in any areas that score 3 or below.

3.0 Work is needed to find direction in this area as a couple.

2.5 There is definitely conflict in the area and outside help is probably beneficial.

2.0 This is an area you need to get professional help with.

Relational Connection - Resources

Shaunti Feldhan’s books: What Women Want, and What Men Want are deeply researched books on what each gender seeks in relationship.

Brene Brown’s Books: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, and Rising Strong: are all about building connection through vulnerability and empathy, overcoming shame and building shame resilience. In our work with couples, we find over the years of life together, taking each other for granted and losing sight of what once attracted you to one another, can be reestablished through empathy, connection and building an authentic, vulnerable relationship.

We use the assessment on Love Languages, Gary Chapman. We believe it is vital to understand your partner's love language so what you want to express to them you do.

Sue Johnson’s book, Love Sense helps you understand the attachment we all seek.

 

3) Spiritual Connection

4.5 You are doing Great!

4.0 with no 2’s Doing well, if you have a 2 explore this topic.

3.5 Could use some work in any areas that score 3 or below.

3.0 Work is needed to find direction in this area as a couple.

2.5 There is definitely conflict in the area and outside help is probably beneficial.

2.0 This is an area you need to get professional help with.

Spiritual Connection - Resources

Gottman Articles speak to the importance of having “shared meaning and making dreams come true”. As they researched hundreds of couples over a long period of time, masterful couples have rituals of connection, often based in a shared faith.

Religious compatibility matters This article sheds light on the fact that many couples don’t feel comfortable talking about their faith beliefs with their partner and at the same time how important it is to them.

 

4) Financial Connection

4.5 You are doing Great!

4.0 with no 2’s Doing well, if you have a 2 explore this topic.

3.5 Could use some work in any areas that score 3 or below.

3.0 Work is needed to find direction in this area as a couple.

2.5 There is definitely conflict in the area and outside help is probably beneficial.

2.0 This is an area you need to get professional help with.

Financial Connection - Resources

Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University is a great place to get the guidance you need to enhance your Financial connection. This is a 9 week class that educates people in budgeting and making wise decisions about money in all areas. We at Core Values Counseling periodically teach this course and use the CVI to help understand how you are wired in using money. If you want to start with a book try The total money makeover by Dave Ramsey.

 

5) Sexual Connection

4.5 You are doing Great!

4.0 with no 2’s Doing well, if you have a 2 explore this topic.

3.5 Could use some work in any areas that score 3 or below.

3.0 Work is needed to find direction in this area as a couple.

2.5 There is definitely conflict in the area and outside help is probably beneficial.

2.0 This is an area you need to get professional help with.

Sexual Connection - Resources

Healthy Sexuality is a topic of Gary Thomas, Author of Sacred Romance. His website is a good place to start for Christians seeking a better sex life that is still centered on authentic connection.

A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas Rosenau is scientific and excellent guide to great sex and intimacy. An article on the benefits of sex was published in Women’s health magazine, March 2014.

 

6) Recreational Connection

4.5 You are doing Great!

4.0 with no 2’s Doing well, if you have a 2 explore this topic.

3.5 Could use some work in any areas that score 3 or below.

3.0 Work is needed to find direction in this area as a couple.

2.5 There is definitely conflict in the area and outside help is probably beneficial.

2.0 This is an area you need to get professional help with.

Recreational Connection - Resources

Research shows that FUN is important in relationships. Here is a great article that speaks to this important matter!

Here is another article on having Fun in Relationship.

 

7) Health and Exercise Connection

4.5 You are doing Great!

4.0 with no 2’s Doing well, if you have a 2 explore this topic.

3.5 Could use some work in any areas that score 3 or below.

3.0 Work is needed to find direction in this area as a couple.

2.5 There is definitely conflict in the area and outside help is probably beneficial.

2.0 This is an area you need to get professional help with.

Health and Exercise Connection - Resources

Communication about physical health is important for you as a couple to grow. Here is a great article to get that conversation going.

Why is your health important to building intimacy? Read this article and find out.

 

8) Goals Vision and Learning for a deeper future Connection

4.5 You are doing Great!

4.0 with no 2’s Doing well, if you have a 2 explore this topic.

3.5 Could use some work in any areas that score 3 or below.

3.0 Work is needed to find direction in this area as a couple.

2.5 There is definitely conflict in the area and outside help is probably beneficial.

2.0 This is an area you need to get professional help with.

Goals Vision and Learning - Resources

Learning why goals are important and how to make and accomplish them as a couple is a key to a healthy relationship. Setting goals in relationship has been proven to improve your relationship!

Asking questions can get the ball rolling toward a shared legacy. Here are 50 questions to start with! And here are seven more questions and a great article on building that legacy.


Take the CVI (Core Values Index)

The Core Values Index™ is a revolutionary new assessment which enables you to understand your deepest core self. Learn more about the CVI here.

take the free version - CVI

CORE VALUES COUNSELING CARES ABOUT YOUR HEALTH AND WELLBEING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC –
WE OFFER ONLINE THERAPY TO CLIENTS FOR DAYTIME AND EVENING APPOINTMENTS. PLEASE CALL 503-869-8108 (Read more)

Heath and well being during the COVID-19 Pandemic

WE OFFER ONLINE THERAPY TO CLIENTS FOR DAYTIME AND EVENING APPOINTMENTS.

PLEASE CALL 503-869-8108

During this time of uncertainty and the world feeling upside down, we want you to know we are here for you.

Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and relational triggers are at an all-time high!

Anxiety is out of control. When we hear so much bad news and we have no idea when this pandemic will begin to reverse, it can rattle even the calmest among us, but for people who already struggle with anxiety, it can be crippling. Whether you are new to the emotion or it is an old bedfellow, talking to someone and finding ways to cope and move forward can be incredibly helpful.

Depression is also something that is normal when we stop all normal activities, find ourselves homeschooling our kids, working from home, in isolation, or are grieving the loss of a job, loss of your health, or worse yet, loss of a loved one. Maybe you feel like you shouldn’t be depressed because you haven’t had a “major” loss, but instead, you are feeling low and out of sorts because you couldn’t go on your vacation, throw your child a birthday party, or attend Easter services. We’re here to tell you, if you are a human on planet earth, at this moment in time, you have a reason to be depressed.

If you suffer from PTSD in any form, you are probably being triggered a great deal right now. Many people are feeling triggers that are elusive. You may not even understand why you feel these triggers that cause any number of symptoms from anxiety, to panic attacks to physical issues. This is understandable. Everywhere you turn you hear of life-threatening illness, death, and loss of every kind.

Relationship distress is also a big issue right now. How could it not be? We are all working from home, navigating uncharted territory on every front and there is no end in sight.

You know you need help. You want to talk to someone, but how do you get these services when you are practicing social distancing? Online therapy, that is how we can help. Whether you need individual therapy, couples or help with your whole family, we are here for you.

We understand online therapy is different than seeing your therapist in person! However, there is some research that has found we are able to connect at a very deep level through online therapy. Not every problem is best served through online therapy. We will talk with you and assess if it is a viable option for you.

Please call us today. Whether you have insurance or not, we will do everything we can to get you the help you need.

We have several platforms to do online therapy.  Please reach out to us today.

We are here to ease your stress and give you tools to manage during this unprecedented time.