No one goes into a marriage relationship with the desire to hurt one another or believe this is a trial relationship. When we begin a relationship, we commit to grow together, to dream of what can be and try our hardest to please each other just like when we first started dating. But we all carry baggage from our past and have unmet expectations that we didn’t even know we had. We heap expectations on the other person which they can’t begin to fulfill, usually because we don’t communicate or even consciously know about. It is time to step off the crazy cycle, as Emerson Eggerichs would say, and just admit you don’t feel loved or respected. Questions genuinely asked like, “What have I done to make you feel unloved or not respected?” go a long way in rebuilding trust and connection. As we take partial ownership of this conflict we can begin to move in a positive direction.
Our hope is to give you the best help possible. We at Core Values Couples believe your relationship is worth a great deal. Especially if you are in a rut of relational despair, your relationship is worth the time, effort and financial support it needs to improve. Healing takes work and commitment. Many couples don’t understand this until it is too late. We have a protocol we believe will transform your relationship. We are up front with you. Each step is vital, and it will take a considerable amount of time to complete. We hope you will take a journey of healing to rebuild your relationship and expect the best future possible.
Protocol for Couples wishing to work with Core Values Counseling.
- Couples take CVC Relational Assessment Free, take the full version of the Core Values Index (CVI),, and intake forms filled out before our first appointment.
- First Appointment: Intake with Sabrina and Eric Walters together.
- Couples take Gottman Assessment (by email invitation from Sabrina).
- Both individuals have separate counseling appointments with Sabrina to gather background history.
- The couple has a 4th appointment with both Sabrina and Eric, in which we go over Gottman Relationship Assessment and map out a plan for future work.
- The couple meets with Eric to do an unpacking of the CVI and create awareness of how each other is wired.
- Counseling appointments are held rebuild attachment, teach attunement to each other through Gottman and Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT).
- Coaching appointments are held to work on present and future attuning to spouse and children as needed. Other topics may include finances and creating enjoyment in your relationship.
- Conferences are attended by the couple over the next year to continue to practice the skills learned in therapy and deepen re-attachment. The retreats are as follows: A) Enticing Love to move into a deeper understanding of each other and developing a vision for their lives and marriage. B) Enticing Intimacy explores your conflict strategies with practice on shifting your (CVI) core to communicate at a more intimate level. You will also look at all areas of your lives, and share your dreams for the future, developing ways foster your growth.
- We also highly recommend an Equine assisted Therapy session as a couple which we do in Newberg, Oregon.
We offer Intensive Weekend Sessions for couples wanting to jump-start their recovery.
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