Preparing Your Relationship For A Medical Crisis

If you, your partner or child, a parent or other immediate family member, becomes diagnosed with a long-term illness, gets severely injured, or faces some other medical crisis, it will obviously affect your relationship. We know this, and yet we don’t like to spend much time planning for that possibility. The thing is: Life is long. If you’re with[…]

What To Do When You Suspect Your Partner

As we discussed on our blog from last week, social media can provide a temptation to the best of us. But what do you do if you suspect that your partner has already made those connections? This can be a horrible feeling. But, first of all, resist the urge to try and ‘catch them out.’ This is your partner, not your[…]

lack of communication

For When You Don’t Feel Appreciated

We’ve been talking a lot recently about gratitude, and expressing appreciation for your partner. Appreciation can be especially hard when you don’t feel that gratitude in return — when you just feel taken for granted, especially if you’ve been making an such an effort to be loving! That feeling is one of the worst. And,[…]

Thanksgiving

Practicing Gratitude

As we get ready for one of my favorite holiday, I’m reminded of the value of gratitude in your relationships.  According to Gottman research, the most successful way to turn around contempt in your relationship is with intentional appreciation. But if you’re having a stressful time with your partner, it can be hard to even know where[…]

relationship stress

Refiguring Your Partner’s Identity

A lot of times when a relationship goes through a big reveal — someone had an affair years ago, or they’re addicted to some substance — it can feel like your partner is suddenly a completely different person. How could this person you thought you knew so well have such a secret? And how can[…]

Facing The Here & Now

Today as I finished my book review for “The Prophetic Imagination,” I was able to share some of my insights with my son, Thomas, who happens to relate deeply to the idea of the ‘prophetic.’ To be honest, this was not an easy read for me — but as I read back through all my[…]

Don’t Forget To ASK

These past few weeks Eric and I have been assessing our community by ASKING others what they see happening that is good, where the needs are and what breaks their hearts for relationships. It’s a cold-call process that’s part of our doctoral study, and it’s been fascinating. But the most unexpected aspect is how it’s[…]

Healing Together

How can our own wounds, despite being painful, become powerful healing compounds to our relationship? It’s kind of mysterious how this works. Shared pain is actually a way to mobilization. Moving through the pain of the wound together is a way to not only support each other, but to help you both see that you are in[…]