Contempt: The Deadliest of the Four Horsemen

When things have really deteriorated in your relationship, a peculiar phenomenon can occur. You start to reside in what’s known as ‘negative sentiment override,’ which basically means you start to believe that your partner only thinks negatively of you. You believe that whatever they say is tinged with contempt of you — and you return that contempt in kind. The Gottmans have discovered Read more about Contempt: The Deadliest of the Four Horsemen[…]

How to Talk About Polarizing Topics with Your Partner

Sometimes, when we are incredibly passionate about a particular topic, it feels like life or death if our partner doesn’t agree. How can we have a positive interaction with a loved one when we disagree so firmly on an important issue? The greatest and most important challenge here is separating the topic from the person you’re talking to. It’s easy Read more about How to Talk About Polarizing Topics with Your Partner[…]

When Your Partner Gets A New Job

The holidays and the new year bring lots of chances for reflection — and lots of opportunities for change. One of the biggest changes we experience? A job change. And facing one during this time of year can be tough. If you or your partner started a new job this year, the new rhythm can seriously throw your whole routine Read more about When Your Partner Gets A New Job[…]

Gratitude Is An Investment

Gratitude is a powerful way to invest in your future — in what you want to see in the world. When I see clients with mind that is gracious and a heart that is giving, I notice that they are able to adjust stressful mindsets, and even mental health issues like anxiety and depression, much more quickly. When someone is focused Read more about Gratitude Is An Investment[…]

Visioneering Could Save Your Relationship

Have you and your significant other ever come up against a decision that was nearly impossible to agree on — because you each have differing views of what your future could look like? This happens to almost every couple at least once in their relationship; sometimes it’s a frequent occurrence. That’s why we designed our Visioneering retreat — to help Read more about Visioneering Could Save Your Relationship[…]

Harsh Startup Vs. Soft Startup

Did you know that if you have bulbs in your garden, you’re supposed to pull them out every fall — and replant them in the spring? If you leave them in the ground, they just grow into bulb clusters and eventually stop flowering altogether. There’s a lesson for relationships in this (of course there is, right?). Sometimes, Read more about Harsh Startup Vs. Soft Startup[…]

How To Deal When Your Partner Has More Vacay Than You

Many of you are aware that Eric is still a teacher, and therefore essentially has two and a half months off every summer. Me, I’m a therapist and don’t get time off unless I take it. There can be a lot of benefits to this system — I get a house-husband for a while and can put him Read more about How To Deal When Your Partner Has More Vacay Than You[…]

Preparing Your Relationship For A Medical Crisis

If you, your partner or child, a parent or other immediate family member, becomes diagnosed with a long-term illness, gets severely injured, or faces some other medical crisis, it will obviously affect your relationship. We know this, and yet we don’t like to spend much time planning for that possibility. The thing is: Life is long. If you’re with Read more about Preparing Your Relationship For A Medical Crisis[…]

What To Do When You Suspect Your Partner

As we discussed on our blog from last week, social media can provide a temptation to the best of us. But what do you do if you suspect that your partner has already made those connections? This can be a horrible feeling. But, first of all, resist the urge to try and ‘catch them out.’ This is your partner, not your Read more about What To Do When You Suspect Your Partner[…]

lack of communication

For When You Don’t Feel Appreciated

We’ve been talking a lot recently about gratitude, and expressing appreciation for your partner. Appreciation can be especially hard when you don’t feel that gratitude in return — when you just feel taken for granted, especially if you’ve been making an such an effort to be loving! That feeling is one of the worst. And, Read more about For When You Don’t Feel Appreciated[…]