September 30, 2015

Affair Recovery


Affair Recovery

COVID-19 is hard enough, but if you are suffering from an affair, and trying to find your way through it, you are really up against it! Don’t go it alone. We can start your recovery work through Online Therapy right from the comfort of your home. Don’t wait. Get the help you need to move through this difficult time and on with your life. Call us today at 503-869-8108

If you are the one who has been hurt by an affair you probably feel stunned, crushed, enraged …betrayed. If you are the one who caused all that pain, you most likely feel like you are going crazy, are full of shame and confusion and can’t see a way through to the other side. When an affair is first revealed, we don’t know where to turn, who to tell or how to get the help you need. Affairs, whether they are emotional, internet-related or physical, are devastating to relationships. We are committed to helping you walk through the healing journey to recovery from this affair and make sense of why it happened in the first place. We have several ways in which we can help with this process.

We agree with the experts, (John Gottman and Sue Johnson); there are three components to affair recovery: Atonement, Attunement, and Attachment.

In the first phase, it is important for the partner who has had the affair to come clean, cut all ties with the affair partner, and take full responsibility for the actions which hurt their partner. This time is crucial and can be excruciating for everyone involved. But if you have the environment in which to be safe and authentic, with the care needed for containment of emotions and coaching on communication.

The second phase is essential to building trust again. Learning how to understand what the underlying needs of each other are, attuning to one another’s heart of hearts.

The third phase is building trust, intimacy again with one another, building a plan for re-establishing the relationship.

We recommend contacting us for a free half hour assessment to help you look at options.

We offer Couples Counseling, Couples Retreats, Couples Intensives, Couples Coaching Intake, Life Coaching and a lot of personal experience in order to bring you to a place of hope. Read about our own journey to healing here.

Relationship Recovery Protocol

Our hope is to give you the best help possible. We at Core Values Couples believe your relationship is worth a great deal. Especially if you are healing from an affair, your relationship is worth time, effort and financial support. Healing takes work and commitment. Many couples don’t understand this until it is too late. We have a protocol we believe will transform your relationship. Each step is vital, and it will take a considerable amount of time to complete. We hope you will take a journey of healing to rebuild your relationship and expect the best future possible.

Protocol for Couples wishing to work with Core Values Counseling.

  1. Couples take CVC Relational Assessment Free, take the full version of the Core Values Index (CVI), and intake forms filled out before our first appointment.
  2. First Appointment: Intake can be with Sabrina and Eric Walters together, or with one of our other therapists.
  3. Couples take Gottman Assessment (by email invitation from Sabrina).
  4. Both individuals have separate counseling appointments with Sabrina to gather background history.
  5. The couple has a 4th appointment with both Sabrina and Eric, in which we go over Gottman Relationship Assessment and map out a plan for future work.
  6. The couple meets with Eric to do unpacking of the CVI and create awareness of how each other is wired.
  7. Counseling appointments are held to rebuild attachment, teach attunement to each other through Gottman and Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT).
  8. Coaching appointments are held to work on present and future attuning to spouse and children as needed. Other topics may include finances and creating enjoyment in your relationship.
  9. Conferences are attended by the couple over the next year to continue to practice the skills learned in therapy and deepen re-attachment. The retreats are as follows:  A) Enticing Love to move into a deeper understanding of each other and developing a vision for their lives and marriage. B) Enticing Intimacy explores your conflict strategies with practice on shifting your (CVI) core to communicate at a more intimate level. You will also look at all areas of your lives, and share your dreams for the future, developing ways to foster your growth.
  10. We also highly recommend an Equine-assisted Therapy session as a couple which we do in Newberg, Oregon.

     We offer Intensive Weekends for couples wanting to jump-start their recovery

Affair Recovery Blog Posts



Heath and well being during the COVID-19 Pandemic


PLEASE CALL 503-869-8108

During this time of uncertainty and the world feeling upside down, we want you to know we are here for you.

Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and relational triggers are at an all-time high!

Anxiety is out of control. When we hear so much bad news and we have no idea when this pandemic will begin to reverse, it can rattle even the calmest among us, but for people who already struggle with anxiety, it can be crippling. Whether you are new to the emotion or it is an old bedfellow, talking to someone and finding ways to cope and move forward can be incredibly helpful.

Depression is also something that is normal when we stop all normal activities, find ourselves homeschooling our kids, working from home, in isolation, or are grieving the loss of a job, loss of your health, or worse yet, loss of a loved one. Maybe you feel like you shouldn’t be depressed because you haven’t had a “major” loss, but instead, you are feeling low and out of sorts because you couldn’t go on your vacation, throw your child a birthday party, or attend Easter services. We’re here to tell you, if you are a human on planet earth, at this moment in time, you have a reason to be depressed.

If you suffer from PTSD in any form, you are probably being triggered a great deal right now. Many people are feeling triggers that are elusive. You may not even understand why you feel these triggers that cause any number of symptoms from anxiety, to panic attacks to physical issues. This is understandable. Everywhere you turn you hear of life-threatening illness, death, and loss of every kind.

Relationship distress is also a big issue right now. How could it not be? We are all working from home, navigating uncharted territory on every front and there is no end in sight.

You know you need help. You want to talk to someone, but how do you get these services when you are practicing social distancing? Online therapy, that is how we can help. Whether you need individual therapy, couples or help with your whole family, we are here for you.

We understand online therapy is different than seeing your therapist in person! However, there is some research that has found we are able to connect at a very deep level through online therapy. Not every problem is best served through online therapy. We will talk with you and assess if it is a viable option for you.

Please call us today. Whether you have insurance or not, we will do everything we can to get you the help you need.

We have several platforms to do online therapy.  Please reach out to us today.

We are here to ease your stress and give you tools to manage during this unprecedented time.