Preparing Your Relationship For Children

Every couple is different. For some of us, the first year of marriage is awesome — for some of us, it’s incredibly stressful. Some couples adjust to children quickly and easily, but the majority of us have a much more difficult transition.

For every new experience, of course, there’s a honeymoon — when everything seems like a dream, because it’s new and exciting. It’s a beautiful novelty.

But then the rubber hits the road. 

For parenting, it’s usually going to be tough — so go easy on yourself. And as you prepare for this — one of the biggest transitions of your life — there are a few things you can do to make sure your relationship is ready.

1) Know Your Partner and Yourself. Knowing each other really well, what your strengths and your weaknesses are, will prepare you for team parenting, because you’ll understand more where you can rely on them — and where you’ll need to give extra support. Your needs often change during parenthood, so the more self-aware you are now, the more prepared you’ll be to understand your own needs as you parent. The CVI can be extremely helpful in this arena! Do you need an arsenal of people to call for help? Or do you need an arsenal of books and research? What will make you feel prepared as parent? Your preferences can be predicted by your CVI, which can help you prepare.

2) Get Support. Having the support you need lined up before baby comes is essential — no matter what your personality type is. This is a time to reach out to your family & friends, or to have hired childcare set up and ready to go. Whether you’re a stay-at-home parent, or working family, have your childcare options set up in advance. This preparation will be essential to healthy and joyful parenting.

3) Get Rid of Expectations. It’s impossible to predict what your life will be like when children arrive. There is no ‘norm’ for anyone. Even with preparation, you just can’t know how you will respond until you’re in this phase of life. Give yourself and your partner grace as you adjust together.

4) Take a Class. The Gottman book, And Baby Makes Three is an incredibly useful tool when it comes to preparing your marriage. It’s a book and a class that you can take to prepare for how to preserve your relationship after the baby comes. They even have a card deck of questions to ask before you get pregnant! How will finances, romance, your social life, change? How will your work-life agreements at home change? Will chores change?  Who’s cooking?  It’s essential to think about all of these areas of life, and to talk about them together.

5) Rely on Therapy. So many people only turn to counseling or therapy once they’re in crisis — but it’s an excellent preventative strategy for stressful transitions. Have a family therapist to come to when life gets difficult; they can help you prepare for this transition, and walk with you through it. That’s why we’re here for you; don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re thinking of expanding your family!

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CORE VALUES COUNSELING CARES ABOUT YOUR HEALTH AND WELLBEING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC –
WE OFFER ONLINE THERAPY TO CLIENTS FOR DAYTIME AND EVENING APPOINTMENTS. PLEASE CALL 503-869-8108 (Read more)

Heath and well being during the COVID-19 Pandemic

WE OFFER ONLINE THERAPY TO CLIENTS FOR DAYTIME AND EVENING APPOINTMENTS.

PLEASE CALL 503-869-8108

During this time of uncertainty and the world feeling upside down, we want you to know we are here for you.

Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and relational triggers are at an all-time high!

Anxiety is out of control. When we hear so much bad news and we have no idea when this pandemic will begin to reverse, it can rattle even the calmest among us, but for people who already struggle with anxiety, it can be crippling. Whether you are new to the emotion or it is an old bedfellow, talking to someone and finding ways to cope and move forward can be incredibly helpful.

Depression is also something that is normal when we stop all normal activities, find ourselves homeschooling our kids, working from home, in isolation, or are grieving the loss of a job, loss of your health, or worse yet, loss of a loved one. Maybe you feel like you shouldn’t be depressed because you haven’t had a “major” loss, but instead, you are feeling low and out of sorts because you couldn’t go on your vacation, throw your child a birthday party, or attend Easter services. We’re here to tell you, if you are a human on planet earth, at this moment in time, you have a reason to be depressed.

If you suffer from PTSD in any form, you are probably being triggered a great deal right now. Many people are feeling triggers that are elusive. You may not even understand why you feel these triggers that cause any number of symptoms from anxiety, to panic attacks to physical issues. This is understandable. Everywhere you turn you hear of life-threatening illness, death, and loss of every kind.

Relationship distress is also a big issue right now. How could it not be? We are all working from home, navigating uncharted territory on every front and there is no end in sight.

You know you need help. You want to talk to someone, but how do you get these services when you are practicing social distancing? Online therapy, that is how we can help. Whether you need individual therapy, couples or help with your whole family, we are here for you.

We understand online therapy is different than seeing your therapist in person! However, there is some research that has found we are able to connect at a very deep level through online therapy. Not every problem is best served through online therapy. We will talk with you and assess if it is a viable option for you.

Please call us today. Whether you have insurance or not, we will do everything we can to get you the help you need.

We have several platforms to do online therapy.  Please reach out to us today.

We are here to ease your stress and give you tools to manage during this unprecedented time.