One thing I’ve noticed lately is that people who are not merchants in their first, second, or even third level, who have a really low CVI number for that quadrant — they have a hard time connecting with their partners. Oftentimes they’re the practical people; that’s their contribution, being incredibly practical and cognitive. But it often leaves them having more difficulty connecting emotionally with their partners, because that emotional connection just isn’t their driving force.They have amazing skills all over the place, but not so much with emotional skills. No one is doomed to that fate, however; like anything else, it’s something you have to practice. It’s a muscle that has to be strengthened. Daniel Goleman wrote several books about EQ instead of IQ; just like your factual knowledge, you can grow your emotional skill set. You just have to practice!
But how do you practice something like that? How do you practice emotional connection?
Well, there are actually apps for that. The Gottmans have several, including Love Maps, and other ways to remind yourself how to ask emotionally connecting questions. There are games you can play with your spouse or your children. Through practice, you’ll learn; you’ll discover how to ask questions that are compassionately curious. Those are the types of questions that can build your EQ.
What about you? How do you practice connecting emotionally with your loved ones?