I Think You CAN!

Whether You Think You Can or You think You Can’t…
You are right! – Henry Ford

This quote is a mantra my fitness coach uses with me a lot, but recently I began to intentionally apply it to all areas of my life. Whether I am running a mile or a marathon, changing my diet to more plant-based food (another change I’ve taken on this month that I thought I could never do), or responding differently during a conflict–it is all a matter of believing I CAN!

In our Core Values Seminars and in my practice, I am always challenging people to try a new method of responding. Rather than doing what comes naturally or instinctively, I encourage them to shift to a new perspective. It doesn’t feel as comfortable, but it also won’t feel as raw. Our negative response patterns come from a place of self-protection. When we slip into the way we have always engaged (usually a negative pattern of intimidation, manipulation, questioning without compassion or becoming an aloof judge) the outcome will usually produce the same response. It triggers a crazy cycle we can unknowingly trip into again and again.

I want to challenge you to switch to a different place of interaction. Instead of sitting in a place of victimization or control, let go of the reins and move into a place of love, compassion, knowledge or standing firm. Do that which you don’t normally do, but sense might be more effective. Ask yourself “Is this a time for Love? Wisdom? Knowledge or Power?” One of these will make you feel less like fighting and more like building a better relationship.

Recently, I had a choice to either be upset (which looks a lot like manipulation or control) or shift and change to be loving when I encountered a misunderstanding with my husband. I was angry about piles that had accumulated in our bedroom (my husband is notorious for organized chaos of multiple piles). My natural tendency is to try to make him feel guilty for his piles, but of course that just puts him on the defensive. I caught myself and changed to a compassionate tone of voice, asking more empathetic questions and wondering together what I could do to help. It shifted everything. Soon we were brainstorming ideas and coming up with a plan together to restore order and beauty to the chaos!

Whether you think you can shift or whether you think you can’t…you are right. It truly is up to you. Make a decision to do it differently this time. Give yourself a little break and come back to the conversation with a different way of approaching this conflict!

I think you CAN!


Sabrina J. Walters

P.S. We’ve got a new couples’ website! Check out www.corevaluescouples.com to see what we’ve been up to!

Our next couples conference is May 16-17 at McMenamin’s Grand Lodge!

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Heath and well being during the COVID-19 Pandemic


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During this time of uncertainty and the world feeling upside down, we want you to know we are here for you.

Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and relational triggers are at an all-time high!

Anxiety is out of control. When we hear so much bad news and we have no idea when this pandemic will begin to reverse, it can rattle even the calmest among us, but for people who already struggle with anxiety, it can be crippling. Whether you are new to the emotion or it is an old bedfellow, talking to someone and finding ways to cope and move forward can be incredibly helpful.

Depression is also something that is normal when we stop all normal activities, find ourselves homeschooling our kids, working from home, in isolation, or are grieving the loss of a job, loss of your health, or worse yet, loss of a loved one. Maybe you feel like you shouldn’t be depressed because you haven’t had a “major” loss, but instead, you are feeling low and out of sorts because you couldn’t go on your vacation, throw your child a birthday party, or attend Easter services. We’re here to tell you, if you are a human on planet earth, at this moment in time, you have a reason to be depressed.

If you suffer from PTSD in any form, you are probably being triggered a great deal right now. Many people are feeling triggers that are elusive. You may not even understand why you feel these triggers that cause any number of symptoms from anxiety, to panic attacks to physical issues. This is understandable. Everywhere you turn you hear of life-threatening illness, death, and loss of every kind.

Relationship distress is also a big issue right now. How could it not be? We are all working from home, navigating uncharted territory on every front and there is no end in sight.

You know you need help. You want to talk to someone, but how do you get these services when you are practicing social distancing? Online therapy, that is how we can help. Whether you need individual therapy, couples or help with your whole family, we are here for you.

We understand online therapy is different than seeing your therapist in person! However, there is some research that has found we are able to connect at a very deep level through online therapy. Not every problem is best served through online therapy. We will talk with you and assess if it is a viable option for you.

Please call us today. Whether you have insurance or not, we will do everything we can to get you the help you need.

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