Have you ever wondered how a once healthy and vital relationship can hit the skids? We all know it doesn’t happen overnight, but do we know how it begins to erode away? Of course, it can happen in a million different ways, but the most significant one I’ve noticed in my practice is a lack of nurture. We get complacent with the way our relationship functions. He always does this, and she always does that. When we begin to think in terms of always and never, we are setting ourselves up for disaster. It is the beginning of the Blame and Shame game.
If we’re pointing fingers, we cease to be aware of our responsibility to break our own patterns of negative (or absentminded) behavior. We begin the slippery slope of trying to blame (or shame) our partner, trying to force them into behaviors we believe will make a difference in the relationship. But what about YOU? What are you doing to ignite the flame of tender romance again?What are you doing to take responsibility for the way things have become? Unless we are willing to take the first step, make the first move, or ask for what we need, things will never change. It is easy to point the finger at the other, but remember what your mom taught you: “When you point your finger outwards, you always have three fingers pointing back at you.”