When we feel that guttural urge to resist a suggestion, it often comes with a lot of discomfort. We don’t like the suggestion. We don’t want to do this. We might feel guilty about it, bringing even more resistance. That’s what happens with me when Eric wants me to budget better.
Yes, this continues to be an ongoing saga between us. He wanting to strictly follow the principles laid out in his favorite financial program, and I have an instinctive resistance to that. He drags me along, sometimes kicking and screaming, but mostly in a silent, strong emotional resistance. It has really felt like a power struggle, which is not what I want in my marriage.
In the past I’ve felt guilty about this resistance. I feel like I’m the one causing problems when Eric is just trying to be responsible, and maybe I should just step in line. But recently, both a mentor of mine and Eric himself have encouraged me to press into this resistance. To explore it. What we instinctively resist can help us understand deeper issues.
What I found as I explored this is there is a big difference in what ‘money management’ means to me versus what it means to Eric. And until we can learn to manage our differences and make an alignment, it will probably continue to be a struggle.
My challenge to you today is to lean in to your areas of resistance and discomfort. What would happen if you pressed more deeply and vulnerably into these areas? What is the resistance telling you about what you need and believe? I invite you into the paradigm shift with me–don’t ignore your resistance. Become friends with it, in yourself and in others.
