CVI; negative self; counseling

When You’re Stuck In Your Negative Self

If you know your Core Values, you know that every value has a unique negative side: that unhealthy strategy you slip into when you’re faced with a particularly uncomfortable conflict. Recently, at our Enticing Intimacy workshop, I was reminded how easily and unknowingly that strategy can take over. When we’re feeling defensive and vulnerable, we might not[…]

core values; flowers; flourishing

Flourishing In Your Full Potential

If you’ve taken the Core Values Index, you know that we all have a primary value and a secondary value. For example, I am primarily a Merchant, the quadrant which values Love. I am secondarily an Innovator, which values Wisdom. Some people’s top two are pretty evenly matched; they can switch between the two of them easily. Most[…]

Ay, There’s The Rub: Core Values & Conflict

“Whenever you are in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make a difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is ATTITUDE.” These wise words by William James, the famous American philosopher, are the perfect place to start talking about conflict. When we look at our Core Values, we begin to understand why[…]

A Word From Eric: On Intimacy

Okay, with the word intimacy, what comes into your mind? If you are a guy, you might be thinking of your wife or girlfriend giving you that look–you know the one–that has a bit of a tease telling you that she desires you as much as you want her. Hold on–you’re dreaming again! That only happens when[…]

The Happiness Chart

Last week, we talked about whether or not happiness is a choice. Can we choose to be happy, after all? Well, when I discovered this chart by colleague Paul Smith, it seemed like the perfect follow up. Below are practical, every day things we all have the power to do to increase our level of joy,[…]

Can You Change Your Character?

This week I’ve read two books that have proven to be pretty interrelated: Working with Emotional Intellegence by Daniel Goleman and Integrity by Henry Cloud. Both of these books are excellent reads for anyone who wants to build on their effectiveness in any relationship — and really, every aspect of life! One fascinating point Goleman makes is[…]

Making YOUR Impact!

This quarter in our classes, Eric and I are studying Personal Assessment. Specifically,we’re examining the cultural impact we hope to have with our lives and work. I couldn’t help but think about the difference Core Values makes in our world! Many people know the CVI has been around for decades in the business world, helping to develop strong[…]

Navigating Mountaintops (& Valleys!)

Tough times have a tendency to surprise us, but there is nothing more inevitable.You will face challenges. It’s completely normal and natural! With every mountaintop experience, there will always be a valley. The key is to know your obstacle and prepare accordingly. I was at a meeting this last week with Carl Casanova, owner of NewVibe[…]

Facing The Here & Now

Today as I finished my book review for “The Prophetic Imagination,” I was able to share some of my insights with my son, Thomas, who happens to relate deeply to the idea of the ‘prophetic.’ To be honest, this was not an easy read for me — but as I read back through all my[…]

Don’t Forget To ASK

These past few weeks Eric and I have been assessing our community by ASKING others what they see happening that is good, where the needs are and what breaks their hearts for relationships. It’s a cold-call process that’s part of our doctoral study, and it’s been fascinating. But the most unexpected aspect is how it’s[…]