dealing with stress

How Do You Respond To Your Partner’s Stress?

How do you respond when your partner is stressed?  It’s a difficult situation, isn’t it? If our partner’s encountering high levels of stress, that can affect every aspect of our relationship with them. It’s easy to want to take that stress for them, to absorb it as your own as a way to help. When they’re stressed,[…]

relationship stress

Refiguring Your Partner’s Identity

A lot of times when a relationship goes through a big reveal — someone had an affair years ago, or they’re addicted to some substance — it can feel like your partner is suddenly a completely different person. How could this person you thought you knew so well have such a secret? And how can[…]

relationships

Support At Any Size

I don’t know if any of you follow fashion magazines, but this month my daughter-in-law pointed out that the July cover star of Glamour was none other than Ashley Graham, a model technically considered ‘plus-size’ and known internationally for her joyful support of body positivity. Her interview really is uplifting, and I encourage you to[…]

Fourth of July

Rituals of Connection

Since we’re on a streak this month with Gottman methodology (I just got certified, and I am loving it — can you tell?) let’s talk about rituals of connection. In our busy day and age, a lot of more traditional rituals of connection get lost in the bustle. Personally, I love holidays; I love setting[…]

Gottman Love Mapping

Why Love Mapping?

Remember that Gottman Relationship house? Well, the very first floor of the relationship house in Gottman is something called “love mapping.” Have you heard of it? Love mapping is an intentional check-in to really make sure you know your partner deeply. It’s kind of like body mapping: If you understand how your body works, you[…]

Your relationship house

What’s In Your Attic?

The Gottmans use a picture of a house to symbolize different aspects of your relationship with your significant other. The very top of that house? Creating shared meaning and making each of your life-long dreams come true!   Couples who invest in each other’s dreams have been proven to be masters of relationships. What does[…]

Why Self-Care Matters For Your Relationships

What about does self-care have to do with intimacy? This week I feel like I’ve come out of a long, Portland winter hibernation. After months of enjoying the coziness of this chilly season, all of a sudden I want to be outside. All the time! The nicer weather just entices me out there, and then I’m remembering why[…]

Don’t Forget To ASK

These past few weeks Eric and I have been assessing our community by ASKING others what they see happening that is good, where the needs are and what breaks their hearts for relationships. It’s a cold-call process that’s part of our doctoral study, and it’s been fascinating. But the most unexpected aspect is how it’s[…]