relationship stress

Refiguring Your Partner’s Identity

A lot of times when a relationship goes through a big reveal — someone had an affair years ago, or they’re addicted to some substance — it can feel like your partner is suddenly a completely different person. How could this person you thought you knew so well have such a secret? And how can[…]

Gottman Love Mapping

Why Love Mapping?

Remember that Gottman Relationship house? Well, the very first floor of the relationship house in Gottman is something called “love mapping.” Have you heard of it? Love mapping is an intentional check-in to really make sure you know your partner deeply. It’s kind of like body mapping: If you understand how your body works, you[…]

Navigating Mountaintops (& Valleys!)

Tough times have a tendency to surprise us, but there is nothing more inevitable.You will face challenges. It’s completely normal and natural! With every mountaintop experience, there will always be a valley. The key is to know your obstacle and prepare accordingly. I was at a meeting this last week with Carl Casanova, owner of NewVibe[…]

Facing The Here & Now

Today as I finished my book review for “The Prophetic Imagination,” I was able to share some of my insights with my son, Thomas, who happens to relate deeply to the idea of the ‘prophetic.’ To be honest, this was not an easy read for me — but as I read back through all my[…]

Don’t Forget To ASK

These past few weeks Eric and I have been assessing our community by ASKING others what they see happening that is good, where the needs are and what breaks their hearts for relationships. It’s a cold-call process that’s part of our doctoral study, and it’s been fascinating. But the most unexpected aspect is how it’s[…]

Taking Inventory

Eric and I recently started an adventure: a doctoral program with Bakke Graduate University for Transformational Leadership! These two weeks have been an incredible journey already and it’s an astonishing delight to me how much our current courses relate to our work — and can also relate to your life. This term we are studying[…]

How to Avoid The Toxic Cycle of Thought!

I did not want to bother with the resolution this year. Instead, I am taking time to focus and tune into what I want 2016 to be about. I want it to be about change…BIG change! And so far, so good, because this week…Eric and I start our doctoral work. YES! No resolution…just a doctorate.[…]

Unleash Your Creativity

Welcome to 2016! Have you ever noticed how many amazing movies come out this time of year? It seems like Hollywood saves the good stuff for winter! And it makes sense — more people go see movies in the winter, after all. What else are we going to do in this cold weather? But, as usual,[…]

We All Need to Quit This One New Year’s Tradition

Well, it’s coming: The New Year. And with it, the obligatory flood of emails, blogs, soundbites, and ‘inspirational’ self-help books to remind you that you’d better make some resolutions. It’s a new year! Fresh start! Make goals! Make them huge, unattainable, unrealistic goals — that’s the whole point! The cultural obsession we have with self-improvement[…]

Fighting the Bah Humbugs

Christmastime can be so fun and festive…not to mention full of frustration and seething anger, right? I don’t want to be a scrooge here, but have you ever noticed how this time of the year brings out the worst in people…maybe even in yourself? Well, you know me…I’m all for being transparent and vulnerable, so[…]