Refiguring Your Partner’s Identity

relationship stress

A lot of times when a relationship goes through a big reveal — someone had an affair years ago, or they’re addicted to some substance — it can feel like your partner is suddenly a completely different person. How could this person you thought you knew so well have such a secret? And how can you stay in a relationship with someone you don’t know?

Facing that change takes true compassion. But, of course, it’s difficult to stay in that compassionate place when you’re also hurt. Which means, to reorient to this new identity we’re facing, it’s essential to go through the grieving process. Allow this change to take place. Be mindful: you’re going to be angry, you’re going to feel loss — you’ll probably go through the five stages of grief: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance. It’s never a straight road through those places, but if you’re aware of that journey you can be gentle with yourself as the changes take place. You can be gentle with your partner and slowly come to realize that yes, there is hope. You can write a new story. If you don’t believe me, read this.

Or just contact me. We’re always here to help.

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