I don’t know if any of you follow fashion magazines, but this month my daughter-in-law pointed out that the July cover star of Glamour was none other than Ashley Graham, a model technically considered ‘plus-size’ and known internationally for her joyful support of body positivity. Her interview really is uplifting, and I encourage you to read it here. There’s something wonderful about encouraging us women to really believe in ourselves, no matter our weight. And it reminded me of how important that support is from our partners — it can literally be life-changing.
I’ve been on a weight-focused journey for a while now, and Eric has made that journey so much more healthful with his unending support. No matter how insecure I’m feeling, he never hesitates to remind me how attractive he finds me. And you know what? That makes a huge difference. It unhooks me from my tendency to focus on other people’s expectations. Who cares what other people think if I know my spouse supports me? When I feel confident in that, I can focus on truly healthful choices and loving myself, not striving.
This applies to much more than weight, by the way. When I see couples who don’t support each other, it’s painfully easy to see their train wreck coming a mile away. If she wants to press into her faith, and he pushes against that because he believes faith “is stupid,” that only builds walls against deeper intimacy. Your partner needs to know that they can be their authentic self with you, free from judgement and full of love, regardless of whether you agree with them. Of course, this doesn’t mean you enable destructive behavior — it means you support their journey through the tough parts as well as the good. That’s a connection through vulnerability and empathy — which only leads to hope and more connection. It’s a beautiful circle; it’s the place where true intimacy has a chance to bloom.
Call or email me today if you want to talk about the support you need.