It’s Quite a Story

We have a story to tell. It’s not easy to write, however, we know what lies deep within this story will help others hold onto hope and love. Ultimately we hope others will build a legacy for the next generation as this story has done for our family. This story is also one of the catalyst for our passion for helping others build healthy marriages. And that is what this website is all about.

This is a common story many couples experience, but few ever tell. It is a story many live through but are too ashamed to share. The vulnerability of sharing keeps them silent. I get that. I really get that. But unless we are able to share our stories authentically, we cannot enter into true connection which leads to living wholehearted. Our reason for sharing our story is to help you get to a place where you can live authentic, wholehearted lives as well.

I (Sabrina) had an affair. I am a mother, wife and a therapist. This affair happened many years ago, before I went back to school to become a Marriage and Family Therapist, (actually, I believe it is what drove me into this field of helping others). Apparently, I am in good company, because the latest statistics reveal over 50% of our population (both men and women) have had an affair.

So why share our story? The importance of this story is that most marriages suffering from affairs will end in divorce and we beat this trend. Divorce effects hundreds of thousands of lives. Not only emotionally ravaging and ripping apart the individuals in the marriage, but more importantly the children whose lives will never be the same due to a divorce caused by an affair. Of those who don’t divorce after an affair, many report dissatisfaction in their marriage after the affair has ended. Coincidentally, I know the pain of divorce from a child’s perspective because this was the story of my childhood as well.

Why reveal this as OUR story and not as if I gleaned it from my years in the therapist’s chair? I want you to know this isn’t generated from theory, but from a true story, a story that could be your story. We have lived this story and know it to be true. Do we have the corner on how to heal from an affair? Yes and no. Each story is different, but we have our experience and we hope it gives you direction.

I had an affair and my husband and I are living proof you can recover, your marriage can repair and your family doesn’t have to become survivors of a divorce. Believe it or not, your marriage can even improve as a result of the healing process and recovery after the affair. Your family can build a strong legacy that proves lasting love comes through suffering, persistence and self-sacrifice.

By all means, I am not recommending having an affair to test this theory. It is terribly painful to go through the recovery process. It takes years of hard work and many relationships won’t survive. I would like to have skipped this painful chapter of my life. But I can say today, I see the hidden blessings and the vast growth that has taken place in my husband and me since the affair happened.

So how did we recover? Is there a magical recipe for each couple to heal from an affair, regain trust and begin to move forward? No. There isn’t one. However as I look back I see some steps we took. We took some steps with the help of a therapist, but most of our hope came from a ruthless desire to avoid divorce at all cost. We had to learn how to trust again and love each other more deeply. I believe this was in no small part due to our belief in God, who called us together in the first place, who would not let go of us personally or as a couple, even when we wanted Him to let us go our own way. We have some steps for healing we want to share in the weeks and months to come.

My desire is that you will find hope in this story, either personally or through sharing it with others.  On this website you will find resources for your marriage, pre-marriage counseling and step for recovering from an affair. This website is birthed out of the joy we have in one another through our faith in God. Without His constant wooing of our souls we wouldn’t be able to heal from all the hurt we can cause each other in small and large ways.

Out of our struggle and joy we strongly feel called to help you have a happy, enriched life and marriage as well. If you would like to receive our posts and newsletters sign up here. As a thank you, we would like to send you a free copy of our Steps to Building a Vision for Your Marriage.

 

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