The Many Ways We Connect

The Many Ways We Attach and Why its So Important
I’ve been thinking a lot about attachment lately. Perhaps it is because I am working with a master educator/counselor who is an expert on attachment. In my last post I promised I would tell you about the book I was reading: The Neurobiology of We by Daniel Seigel. It truly amazes me how important this is as a human being.So often when we are struggling with an issue in our lives, be it anxiety, depression or addiction (or really anything), and we begin to “turn all the stones over” surrounding the issue, and it inevitably comes down to an attachment issue. The good news is that the healing is found in the same place as well. Attuning to you (as a therapist) helps to build an attachment and rebuild neural pathways in our brains. Attuning to others in your lives, with empathy and compassion does the same thing; builds new neural pathways of connection! Being intentional and attuning in our relationship repairs the wounds that may be holding us back from our full potential personally relationally.I chose this topic because we find ourselves between two of the most emotion laden holidays Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, as well as the end of another school year. For some strange reason (I surmise the ones I just listed), in late spring and early summer there are more suicides than any other time of year.Transitions and wounded relationships can be tricky to maneuver through. As I ponder this fact and I think about each of you, I want you to know you are healing your very brain when you come and sit with me. In our explorations we find ways to reconnect broken pieces that have been wounded or disconnected altogether, enabling you to be a better connector to others. Many times we can’t heal past relationships for one reason or another, but we can mend the damage that was done in your brain because of the pain and hurt that you were left with.

All of us have work to do in healing our brains from attachment wounds. No parent on earth has done a perfect job. Some did a pretty amazing job and still others, did worse than horrible. But we are all only human. As we work together, sharing our stories, a miraculous thing is happening. Our brains are actually growing. Here is a great article summarizing hours of lecture by the world renowned Daniel Siegel. It is a long article, but well worth the read if you want to know more about Attachment theory and what is happening to our brains as we intentionally work to heal past and current relationships.

The most important take-away today is HOPE! Your brain is re-wiring and growing all the time. If you feel depressed or overwhelmed, know there is hope and healing available. You don’t have to go it alone. If you ever feel so overwhelmed that you have suicidal thoughts please call me or the crisis line at 503-291-9111.

One thought on “The Many Ways We Connect

  • Thanks for this post. The brain is a wonderful part of our body, capable of so many things, but it isn’t perfect. Several individuals close to me have had counseling to help them get over some things in their life, especially relationships. I’m grateful that people like you are out there to help them.

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